These days, we hear much about radicalism. Within the world of Christian Science, I was radical in my reliance on it. I continued the parental example of radical reliance, to which I was exposed. My mother was radical in that she lived and breathed Christian Science - no room for flexibility in her world! No doctors, pain relief, talk of health issues nor exposure to anything "worldly". Total reliance on Christian Science! In years gone by, to be radical was not much spoken about.
To my mind, a question is posed - did my mother have that kind of personality which was attracted to strong-mindedness, no compromise and literal interpretation of Science and Health by Mary Baker Eddy? Or, was it solely Christian Science which encouraged her radicalism to develop? Does radicalism of belief foster a false sense of security in day to day life? And is that what she was searching for - some kind of security? That, in a topsy-turvey world all around her, there was something on which to depend?
Within that framework, did I have the potential within my personality to become radical, within a belief system, or did my radical stance on Christian Science develop the longer I was exposed to its doctrines?
Page 167 of the above-named book reads, "Only through radical reliance on Truth can scientific healing power be realised." Radical reliance was our benchmark in the search for healing. The longer my mother was exposed to radical reliance, the more her eyes became lifeless. She marched to the beat of a different drum and gradually became lifeless before our eyes.
Does it matter? Apart from her immediate family, who cares? Why am I writing this, today? Well, something happened recently to cause me to think carefully. As a second generation Christian Scientist and never having owned my own personality, to what extent has my brain been affected by radical belief? Having left Christian Science, have the seeds of radical reliance remained in my brain? Has my radical reliance polarised into a radical stance against it? Is being radical, whatever the cause, sown within my personality? And, inadvertently, have I become radical, again, in my opposition to Christian Science?
My strong-mindedness over leaving Christian Science has been brought into question and it really poses a deeper question. Who am I? I am an ex Christian Scientist. To deny being "ex" or "former" or "previously" is to deny who I am and what I stand for. It does not prevent me from moving forward and being thankful to be alive but it identifies me.
Mere musings. Is there anyone out there who was radical in their Christian Science belief? How does your exit from it affect your opinions and life, now?
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I was quite radical in my reliance on C.S. Twenty-five years after leaving the religion I am still picking out the threads-- trying to follow them to the source and heal the damage C.S. has caused. My latest question I am working with is-- why the intense fear of not "demonstrating" a healing? The worst that could have happen is a trip to the doctor-- yet that felt like such a huge sin, a complete failure. Why? How is that still affecting me on a subconscious level? How am I letting that radical insistence on success interfere in my life?
Very interesting to receive your response! My intense fear of not "demonstrating" a healing was because I could see no way of becoming well as I knew it was unlikely I would be taken to a doctor. Failure meant that I wasn't using CS "correctly" despite all my efforts.
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