Leaving Christian Science may result in various difficulties but one difficulty may be to think logically, compassionately and to show resultant initiative in decision making. You may think, "Who cares?" but re-entering the world of reality is not easy for the former Christian Scientist. The mind is complex.
What is one supposed to be thinking? What should I think if someone is unwell or dying? What should I think when the ambulance races by? What should I think when someone is very late in arrival, needing a prescription, or when I'm feeling sad or bereaved? How do I control my emotions and my fears, when in Christian Science I learned that "in reality" I had none of these and should correct my thinking to thinking spiritually?!
Any thoughts?! Former Christian Scientists - over to you!
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I'm vitally interested in what others might say. I've been "out out" now for about 18 years, although I started backing out slowly right after college - Principia which makes it much longer. It took awhile, I kind of "snailed" my way out starting with taking an aspirin, finally, for cramps that had me on the floor and going from there. That was the most bizarre experience. After years of suffering suddenly two small white pills allowed me to step back into my day normally. I was so grateful to whoever invented those things. While I continued on trying to be healed, I kept going back to the relief of Advil etc. It was miraculous after years of grueling pain and toughing it out.
When I had a baby, it was clear I wasn't going to be dragging her down that road and so that was officially it - that was 18 years ago. My mother has never gotten over this and still sends hymns to sing, passages to read etc. when anything is "off". Sigh.
Just recently I began wondering what's woven into my foundation that may be crippling me without my knowing. I've always felt different from others, duh, as I was always the only C.S. around. There was always that barrier between me and them. . .where is my thinking messed up now because of such strict mental thought wrangling when young?
I wonder what's still rattling around in me that I'd love to shake loose for more breath and ahhh.
I do remember that once I stepped away I had a wonderful feeling of being free, let loose, like the world was now so much wider. Now I want to debrief, or de-cult or whatever it is.
Thanks for this site.
Oh yes, that feeling of freedom - glad you reminded me of that! I think "de-culting" is on-going and there is no moment when one is totally "cured". However,one thing I still notice is,hiding from confrontation - preferring the "quiet" path!!
i am bowing out of cs v. slowly. i had a mother cs and a dad alcoholic. very confusing to switch between medicine and cs. i later joined cs, i think, to get closer to my mother. what got me to inch away is just my life-long battle with depression and anxiety and a non-cs friend who encouraged me to get help. i had a suicide attempt in my 20s, plus i was anorexic and cut myself. only now do i see--omg, why did i believe it was working back then? the hold it had on me--the idea that i suffered because i didn't understand it like the "good cses" who got healings. i have read some memoirs from former cses, although my story is slightly different as i had parents with completely different approaches. yet, with my mother praying for me and my father on a bender, i was often left with my sicknesses and the feeling that i had failed. thanks for the site. anonymous
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